We can’t control what happens to us…but we can control how we handle it…
The next 6 months are a journey into the unknown for Mr. P & I…I thought seriously about not using this blog to document this journey…to only keep a private journal…but this blog was created to show that our life tapestry is beautiful…not in spite of… but because of the dark…
The dark skies that cause the stars to shine all the brighter…and that there is always hope…there is always the present🎁
And so I write…
The unknown is always the worst part of life…I think…Mr. P & I have lived long enough that we know how to prepare for the storms that we know are on the way…
Yet we were definitely not prepared for Mr. P to be the one to have any physical issues…no family history of serious issues…always very health conscious in eating and exercising…we had discussed the possibility of the “old age” aches and pains…and possible physical ailments…many…many years down the road…but not so soon…
It has been a whirlwind from the first knowledge of the tumor to surgery…waiting for genetic DNA diagnosis of the tumor…listening to the oncologist tell us that that it was a stage 4 type of cancer…that all the visible cancer had been removed…chemo only needed to remove any floating residual cells… another surgery for implanting the port…waiting for that to heal…seeing nurses…making appointments…
51 Days…8 weeks…2 months…no matter how you count it…such a long time…such a short time…
So much to be grateful for…that the tumor was found before it spread any further…that the doctors Mr. P had were exceptional…love and support of family…and our faith…we are blessed beyond measure…I try and stay in that place…I definitely not perfected that spiritual attribute yet…
The first chemo treatment was today…and they found that his port was blocked…so the beginning already seems to have began with step backwards…
I look out the window as I wait to hear something..anything…and even the skies seem to be weeping today…
“Spirituality is not to be learned by flight from the world, or by running away from things, or by turning solitary and going apart from the world. Rather, we must learn an inner solitude wherever or with whomsoever we may be. We must learn to penetrate things and find God there.”
― Meister Eckhart
An X-ray showed that there was a hole in the catheter…now we wait…the doctor is out until Monday…not positive if the port needs to be replaced…which would mean another surgery…another two weeks before the chemo can begun again…
All in the midst of an increase of Covid cases…
Yet…the colored threads still travel through the minutes and hours of our days
Last night we had a beautiful chat with his son and his girlfriend via Skype who are living in France…it was my first time meeting them…and it was light hearted and fun talking of religion…philosophy…….
We are having a dinner with Mr. P’s sister and her husband in a couple of days…able to keep up with the rest of the kids via WhatsApp…everyone is healthy…we recently had our second pleasurable excursion here in town…and so much more…we are blest beyond any imaginable measure…
But most of all…our love threads the tapestry with such unbelievable colors of happiness…I am so appreciative of every moment that I have with this man who stole my heart…I waited a long time for this love and this is not going to be the end of our story…
Even when he drives me crazy…He is always my biggest support and my number one fan… he cuddles with me…He never fails to wipe my tears away…We respect each other, even when we disagree with one another…I never have to question his love for me…and❣❣❣❣❣❣❣❣❣❣❣
This is sad but so very beautiful at the same time. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Your thoughts and prayers are much appreciated🦋..sending love and magic for you 🌺