The Curse of the Sensitive…

“It’s okay to be sensitive that’s what happens when you have magic in your heart.”

Unknown

Have you felt that you do not fit in this cruel and ugly world…a misfit…a weirdo…being Highly Sensitive HSP is both a blessing and a curse…feeling intensely every nuance of the world…the volume turned up…intense and louder…

Hiding from the world is often so much easier…

It is this sensitivity, perception, sincerity, awareness, affection, and gentle grace that make me who I am…yet it is has been at a cost that I am no longer willing to pay…

I have been searching for an answer to losing the extra weight that I am currently carrying and if you have read my blog recently…I have not been successful with the alleviation of any of the weight…I have tried everything…as I have since gaining it…but to no avail…

“Highly sensitive beings suffer more but they also love harder, dream wider, and experience deeper horizons and bliss. When you’re sensitive, you’re alive in every sense of the word in this wildly beautiful world. Sensitivity is your strength. Keep soaking in the light, and spreading it to others.” – Victoria Erickson

So back to the drawing board…I have said it before, and I will say it again…there is always an answer…I tweaked by back a couple of weeks ago taking photographs on the ground…twisting to get just the right angle…flat out until I could see the physiotherapist…a lot of time to listen to audios and research…

I wasn’t too hep on writing about it until I’ve tried a few more weeks…possibly, I was led to an answer that might work for me… Being sensitive may preclude me from the same solution that may work for other people…at least everything that I tried in the past failed me after a week or two of pure Willpower wore off…

When did I gain weight…and why…going back to the beginning to find the root cause…maybe dig that weed out where it began…

Keep Looking For Answers

I gained extra fluff when I needed to feel safe…definitely doesn’t make logical sense…but there are blocks to why it is feels safer to keep the extra weight…it was and is padding from all the painful intensity of life…

If you are an HSP you will understand…often seen as quirky…being an HSP isn’t a disorder or a condition, but rather a personality trait that’s also known as sensory-processing sensitivity (SPS)…being ultra-sensitive to any and all sensory input, people, and the environment…often intuitive and easily overstimulated…

It is not only the extra padding that protects me…but the types of food that dim the noise of life too…which explains the emotional eating…refined carbs and sugary foods…the simple carbs trigger the pleasure centres of the brain by releasing dopamine…and for me it seems to be more that they also dampen the intensity of emotions and feelings that bombard me…

Some research has shown that some people crave carbs for the serotonin-boosting pharmacologic effect …tryptophan is the precursor to serotonin, eating carbohydrates will presumably make one more serene, sleepier, and more sated than someone whose brain is starving for serotonin…that’s what some anti-depressants are designed to do…increase seratonin…

Via hormonal (insulin) and albumin (a basic carrier protein in the blood) effects, ingestion of carbohydrate leads to the preferential shuttling of the rare dietary amino acid, tryptophan, into the brain.  Tryptophan is what we make serotonin from. The best way to understand this phenomenon is to think of a bunch of guys in red, blue, purple, and green shirts all fighting to get onto an elevator. The guys in green are the happy ones who will help us make serotonin. By eating carbohydrate, we effectively unleash bouncers on the red, blue, and purple guys, leaving the green guys free to go to the front of the line, enter the elevator, and go up to the brain”… https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolutionary-psychiatry/201203/do-carbs-keep-you-sane

Not everyone will agree with me…remember that everybody is different…I noticed it recently (again)when I had the flu and couldn’t eat anything…my sensitivity increased exponentially…

So, the normal “willpower” method will not work long-term for me…what can I do to release the “padding” and find ways to protect myself that are healthier…ways that will support myself and be responsible for my own well-being…

In my searching…I stumbled across an energy psychology method that is known as Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or simply tapping…”similar to acupuncture, EFT focuses on the meridian points — or energy hot spots — to restore balance to your body’s energy. It’s believed that restoring this energy balance can relieve symptoms a negative experience or emotion may have caused.” https://www.healthline.com/health/eft-tapping

I tried it…and I absolutely love it…it is very calming and over time…supposedly helps build immunity over stress…but time will tell…committed to continuing a daily routine…you actually focus on the negative emotion at hand…addressing the root cause…and by tapping sending a calming signal to the brain…helping to calm oneself…

But I noticed even more was that the scripts always start in loving and accepting yourself where you are at in the moment…I am finding that self-love and acceptance are a beginning… I have “hated” myself …my body for being this way…how many of us respond well to being disliked and told that we are awful human beings…

The tapping made me feel calmer…but the self-love felt like a thick warm blanket on a cold damp evening…loving and honoring myself…even thanking my body for doing what I had asked…to protect me…to keep me safe from people…this bulletproof vest…

I will continue the experiment of finding healthier ways to protect myself…and even though I love myself now…as I am…it will not keep me from finding healthier ways to cope and sooth the anxiety…and I am worthy of more love…and more (still working on that)…

The beauty of hope…the magic in the everyday…

‘And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.’

Billy and The Minpins

Much love, laughter for your day…and watch for the magic🦄…

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