I often feel like Marcel Duchamp who said… “As soon as we start putting our thoughts into words and sentences everything gets distorted, language is just no damn good—I use it because I have to, but I don’t put any trust in it. We never understand each other.” ….and being 8,000 miles apart creates it own barrier to understanding…
This past weekend…the distance conspired to create a sleepless night and hurt feelings on my part…after all I was just trying to explain and discuss my concerns about a possible issue with the visa…P. responded by saying he felt like he felt that he was having to “defending himself all the time” among other things…I could tell from his voice memo that he was defensive and hurt…
Being extremely sensitive, I cried…worried and fretted all night…because I had only wanted to discuss what I thought might be a possible issue and then he took it all wrong…being 6 hours ahead…he had already fallen asleep…
It carried over into the next day…when he hadn’t been able to listen to my voice memo until later in the day…so there was an unusual silence…for me it seemed like forever…after apologies and communication the next day…it was “all better”…but it would probably not been an issue, if we were in close proximity and I could have physically been able to talk and discuss the misunderstanding when it happened…one issue with a LDR (long distance relationship)
In atonement, he planted beets and spring onions for our anticipated first borscht …I have never had the reddish purple sour soup of Russian origin…whose main ingredient is beets…I do not really yet know if it will be an atonement or a punishment…LOL…my only remembrance of eating beets was my great grandmother’s pickled beets and it really was not enjoyable to my palate…
Whether I enjoy the dish or not…will be a mute point…because the enjoyment will come from the cooking together…just one of the many things that we are looking forward to enjoying in our future life together…I love to cook and he enjoys cooking…so who knows the dishes that we will stir up…
Our tastes are quite different and what our normal daily cuisine tends to encompasses cross the spectrum…Caribbean flavors are my main stay with the flavorful cilantro, garlic, onion and pepper sofritos…his tastes tend to be more European in origin…he likes things like anchovies and other “nasty” culinary items…Lol
But still, I am looking forward to exploring new flavors and sharing my culinary expertise…who knows…we may come up with a new flavor meld between South African/European and the Caribbean mixture…throw a little love in…it will be fun and exciting…another adventure that makes me warm at night when I am lying alone…dreaming of our future lives…
“We cannot control the way people interpret our ideas or thoughts, but we can control the words and tones we choose to convey them. Peace is built on understanding, and wars are built on misunderstandings. Never underestimate the power of a single word, and never recklessly throw around words. One wrong word, or misinterpreted word, can change the meaning of an entire sentence and start a war. And one right word, or one kind word, can grant you the heavens and open doors.”
― Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem
